Kings and Queens

“Into the night, desperate and broken, the sound of a fight, father has spoken”. These lyrics ring in my head as I write this paper. We were told to pick a song and write a six page story about the song. Well I didn’t know how to start this paper, but I figured starting with some lyrics from the song I chose would be appropriate. I picked “Kings and Queens” by 30 Seconds to Mars. This song to me is the anthem to today’s youth. These lyrics stick in your mind and make you realize we aren’t all as strong as we think we are. I figured this song meant something to me because to me it is telling me to get up and take a stand and fight for what I believe in. It doesn’t matter if you think you are going to Heaven or Hell, what matters is how you live your life.
We are all Kings and Queens we can stand up and take a fight, we might not always win, but we can still say we took a stand. I use to listen to this song while riding my bike down a trail by myself. It made me feel infinite. Riding my bike with no hands on the handlebars and letting the wind rush past you. It felt like I could do anything. This story might not be the greatest one, but it will let you know how songs can make you feel infinite like there is nothing that can bring you down. Let me know what you think after reading this paper if you can tell where I am coming from. Let me take you back to a time where I wasn’t feeling like I was infinite where I was in a hole and couldn’t get out of it. “We were the kings and queens of promise; we were the victims of ourselves, maybe the children of a lesser god, between Heaven and Hell, Heaven and Hell”.

Beginning on your senior year is never easy. You never know what is going to happen and you know that soon you are going to be out of high school and onto college. You might never see the friends you made in high school again. You might come across the one you love or the love lost. High school is about a lot of if’s and buts’, but you might find that it is full of a lot of reassurance and knowing that you are going to make it somewhere someday. Tell me if you ever felt like you were never going anywhere and you felt like a loner, like a person that didn’t belong. I’m sure a lot of your answers will be that you have felt like that. If you haven’t felt that way well lucky for you. The beginning of my senior year felt like a lot of if’s and buts’. I didn’t know where I was going or whether I was going to make it out alive. I would always tell myself that I would make it. I guess my thoughts were wrong. I never thought that I would be the one to want to escape everything by committing suicide.
I guess I was just a loser who had no friends and could never escape from the rut that I was in. Now that I look back I couldn’t have been more wrong. I had friends there with me I was just pushing them all away. “Into your eyes hopeless and taken we stole our new lives through blood and pain in defense of our dreams”. I keep telling myself that I can finish this six page story, but I am not to sure. If I don’t the worse that can happen is I get a lower score. Anyways back to what I was talking about. I started my senior year unlike the rest of my friends. They all had hopes and dreams and all I had was depression and sleeping issues. I felt like a complete and utter moron, never wanting to do anything or to try to help myself out of the depression. I just sat there and thought about how bad my life was. Even though in reality it wasn’t bad at all. I was the one making it bad for myself.
“The age of man is over the darkness comes and all these lessons that we've learned here have only just begun”. Learning a lesson can be a hard thing to do. I had to learn the lesson of how to get out of being depressed so I don’t go and do something stupid like shooting myself in the head. Lessons that we learn we learn everyday. I was going to learn the hard way that I was just another idiotic suicide maniac, who was going to take the easy way out. Going back to what I was first saying is that my senior year up until about four months ago completely sucked. I never slept and I got more and more depressed. It showed in my school work and in my social life. I never wanted to do anything and everything I wrote for creative writing was completely maniacal and it reflected what I was feeling inside. If you never read some of my work then you wouldn’t know what I am talking about. If you had read my stories you would know that in a lot of them I would kill people in the stories for no reason.
I guess I thought that I wanted to kill the different parts of myself. I felt as if there were tiny parts inside of me that were making me the way I was. Little did I know that it was just a chemical imbalance that made me not sleep and made me depressed, the thoughts of suicide that was a different story. God this paper is hard to write. I don’t know how many more times I can go on talking about how I was depressed and wanted to kill myself. I know though that this paper will be a good one and will maybe touch some hearts of the people who took the time to read it and would take the time to understand what I was going through. I just hope that those people do take the time, since I am taking the time to write this paper, not just so I get a good grade, but because I want people to know that they aren’t the only ones who fell this way. I lot of people feel the way you feel or the way I felt. You aren’t alone in this fight.

Now I really have no clue as to what to write for the last pages of this story. All I can say is that I want to start talking about another song by 30 Seconds to Mars, but I don’t think that is allowed. In the last sentence of the last paragraph I told you that you are not alone in the fight against depression. It is true you aren’t alone. Just remember that we are all kings and queens and we can fight this fight. I have to say writing this story has made me see just how long it has taken me to fully understand myself and to see that there are people to help. It has also shown me how far I have come and how far I am going to go. I am now the one with hopes and dreams. I am a king and I will fight the fight of depression all the way to the day that I die. “We were the kings and queens of promise; we were the victims of ourselves, maybe the children of a lesser god, between Heaven and Hell, Heaven and Hell”. These lyrics still to this day make me feel infinite that I can accomplish anything. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I hope that you do, because it is a really great feeling.
It might not be the same for you, but for me riding down that bike trail with my arms up and me singing along to the song with the wind rushing past me made me feel as if I could do anything that I wanted to. I hope that someday you could maybe feel infinite. Maybe a song will come up while you’re driving and you turn it up and you feel happy because you know that you can do what you want. You can feel happy or sad or just be completely mellow. This song means so much to me and I am wondering if you are feeling what I am feeling right now which is happiness. I am happy I can finally talk about the feelings I use to have. I am also very happy that you can take the time out of your schedule and read a high school kids paper on his depression. Thank you very much.